What, ME Worry?!

Photo by Helena Cook on Unsplash

Check out John Parrott’s excellent post, The Ultimate Guide To Stress Management – an impressively comprehensive and well-sourced look at the topic at hand…like his many other posts at RelaxLikeABoss.com.

Look at all he covers:

1. What Is Stress?
2. What Are The Symptoms Of Stress?
2.1. Physical Effects Of Stress.
2.2. Emotional Effects Of Stress.
2.3. Social Effects Of Stress.
3. Why Do We Feel Stressed?
3.1. ​Leading Causes Of Stress.
​3.2. Other Causes Of Stress.
4. Benefits Of Stress.
​​​​4.1. Positive Stress.
4.2. Enhanced Memory.
4.3. Motivation.
4.4. Resilience.
4.5. Caring For Others.
5. The Dangers Of Stress.
5.1. Heart Problems.
5.2. Anxiety.
5.3. Digestion Problems.
5.4. Suppressed immunity.
5.5. Different Gene Expression.
6. How To Manage Stress.
6.1. Change Your Mindset.
6.2. Exercise.
6.3. Take Time To Relax.
6.4. Meditate.
7. Negative Ways To Manage Stress.
7.1. Ignoring The Problem.
7.2. Drinking & Smoking.
7.3. Avoiding Others.
7.4. Dwelling On The Negative.
7.5. Emotional Eating.
8. Tips For Managing Stress.
8.1. Get Some Sleep.​
8.2. Try Relaxation Techniques.
8.3. Keep A Stress Diary.
8.4. Learn How To Manage Your Time.
8.5. Say No To Unimportant Tasks.
8.6. Treat Yourself.
8.7. Listen To Soft Music Or ASMR Videos.
9. Stress Management FAQs.
9.1. How Do I Cope With Stress?​
9.2. How Can I Make Stress My Friend?​
9.3. How Can You Stop Stress?
9.4. How Does Stress Affect The Brain?​

The infographics, alone, are worth a look-see.

Given that 79% of people regularly experience physical symptoms of stress – and all the ineffective (and negative) ways we try to cope – if you learn even one thing that helps, you’ll be ahead of the pack – although, frankly, I’ll be surprised if you don’t learn a whole lot more than that. I know I did.

So go. See. Read: The Ultimate Guide To Stress Management. You’ll be glad you did.



You Are More Than Just That One Slice

LeadershipTraction

Who here, among us, ‘defines’ themselves in terms of their ‘weakest’ parts? I know I do. Sometimes, anyway. More than certainly serves me, I’ll say.

Which is why I’ve been recently thinking about the labels we give ourselves – and others, for that matter. Smart. Dumb. Introverted. Extroverted. Me. You. Us. Them.

Why do we do that? What purpose do they serve?

Labels Simplify Our Worldview

Life’s complex. So if I can simplify it, in any way – like reducing the intricacies of an entire human being down to one single word – well, that’d be helpful, right? Efficient, maybe, but not necessarily helpful.

Indeed, the more we get to know about someone – including ourselves – the harder it is to label them accurately. We’re all more than just one thing and any one label we use will likely mask all sorts of other attributes they help to define us – and others – more accurately.

Labels ‘Complexify’ Our Worldview

It’s ironic, but true. the labels we use to simplify things often end up inadvertently complicating them – especially when we choose labels for ourselves that make us feel ‘less than’ and ‘not enough’.

Think about the language you use to privately describe yourself If you’re like most, there’s at least one part of yourself that you feel a little shame about. Don’t fret, it’s natural.

My point is that whatever words or terms you use to describe yourself in that way is a bad idea.

You see, labeling your WHOLE-self based on any particular ‘lesser’ part is not only inaccurate, but it’s doing your self-esteem a grave disservice – the WHOLE of you is, indeed, much, much more than just that one slice of the pie.

“Smart, Capable, AND Learning”

I won’t try to convince you to stop labeling yourself. (Not sure I could.) But if you’re going to give yourself a label, at least make it one that doesn’t deflate your esteem.

According to Nathaniel Branden, author of The Six Pillars of Self-Esteem, self-esteem is:

  1. confidence in our ability to think, confidence in our ability to cope with the basic challenges of life; and
  2. confidence in our right to be successful and happy, the feeling of being worthy, deserving, entitled to assert our needs and wants, achieve our values and enjoy the fruits of our efforts.

“With high self-esteem,” he writes, “I am more likely to persist is the face of difficulties. With low self-esteem, I am more likely to give up or go through the motions of trying without really giving it my best. The value of self- esteem” lies not merely in the fact that it allows us to feel better but that it allows us to live better – to respond to challenges and opportunities more resourcefully and more appropriately.”

I’ll be writing more about self-esteem in the near future. In the meantime, though, let me suggest that you go order a pizza and think about what this means to you.

“You better cut the pizza in four pieces
because I’m not hungry enough to eat six.”
– Yogi Berra

 

 


Happy New Year…Again

https://unsplash.com/@arstyy

A new year can seem like déjà vu all over again, yes?!

It’s especially true for people in sales: Another set of goals, quotas, and annual targets; more metrics that don’t quite capture what it takes to be successful; that familiar feeling of wishing you could take the entire month of January off to rest and recoup from yet another blazingly intense 4th quarter.

It’s true for leaders, as well: New goals and objectives that continue to involve some type of stretch; updated policies and procedures that turn the familiar upside down; another set of priorities and strategic initiatives that still don’t provide the clarity or resources you need to get everything done.

Yes, a new year CAN seem like déjà vu all over again.

Let The Circle NOT Be Unbroken

Left unchecked, this over-and-over-again can wear down even the most resilient of us. But it doesn’t have to.

A quick scan of the following five categories can help you break the cycle and make you more E.A.G.E.R. to face – and be ready for – the challenges of the New Year:

  1. E – Your ENTHUSIASM – Never underestimate the value that enthusiasm can bring. So bring it. Big Time. ESPECIALLY when you don’t feel like it.
  2. A – Your AGILITY – Sure, you’ve got your favorite ways of doing things, and many of them are likely quite refined. But make a point of expanding your range, as it were. Being a one-trick pony may feel safe and familiar, but it all too quickly leads to boredom, which leads to inattention, which leads to making mistakes and missing prime opportunities to have a real impact.
  3. G – Your GROWTH – Now I’m a fan of strengths-based leadership, but truth is, if you don’t expand more than just your strengths, you’re likely going to start overcompensating for your weaknesses in ways that dilute your brand. So make this the year you hit things ‘head on’ by developing some new skills that you know you need to learn. Not sure which ones? Come on, now, yes you are!
  4. E – Your EASE – Intensity, well-applied, is a good thing. But constantly creating (or adding) stress and drama – often the unavoidable byproducts of intensity – gets really exhausting, really fast. Just ask around. You can immediately become a better role-model by NOT freaking out every time something new suddenly blips on your radar. It’s you chance to show others how to handle pressure. It’s your chance to be a SOURCE of strength, caring, and focus…for THEM. It’s your chance to be a source of strength, caring, and focus…for YOURSELF, as well.
  5. R – Your RESPONSIVENESS – Whether you consider yourself an extrovert or introvert, the workplace requires you to interact with the people around you. So be pleasant. Be patient. Answer the questions they’re actually asking. Wait. What? Seek to understand. Try to actually be helpful. Sure, it may feel like a waste and even a pain, at times, but it’s an investment – you don’t know who’s watching, you don’t know who’s listening, you don’t know whose help you’ll need or when you’ll need it most. Besides you impress no one by being pompous. That only shows others you’re not as impressive as you mistakenly think you are.

E.A.G.E.R. for the New Year

Here’s a little exercise:

  • For each of the five categories listed – Enthusiasm, Agility, Growth, Ease, Responsiveness – or for any other or additional categories you’d like to include, rate yourself on a scale of 1-10 (10=already excellent; 1=embarrassingly not). These are your ‘EAGER 1a’ baseline ratings – where you currently are (or believe yourself to be).

E.A.G.E.R. for the New Year – Step 1

  • Add another column, and in that column add 2 points to each of your baseline ratings. (So if you gave yourself a ‘responsiveness’ rating of 7, put a 9 (7+2) in the corresponding box.) These are your ‘EAGER 2b’ intention scores (‘2b’ – ‘to BE’ – clever, right?!) and will help stimulate your imagination for what ‘could be’ for yourself and those around you.

E.A.G.E.R. for the New Year – Step 2

  • Next, list out 3 or 4 specific steps you can take to achieve your EAGER 2b ratings. (Would it be too much to call these your EAGER 2c – ‘to SEE’ – scores?!)

E.A.G.E.R. for the New Year – Step 3

  •   Save your spreadsheet, create a recurring task in your calendar to review your progress monthly, and then do so without fail.

Putting the ‘New’ in New Year

As Margaret J. Wheatley said, “Without reflection, we go blindly on our way, creating more unintended consequences, and failing to achieve anything useful.”

Hopefully, that’s reason enough for all this, but if not, just let me know.

 


Having Been a Polished Man

Barry Zweibel is a polished man.

As many of you know, I participated in the Polished Man project – an effort to raise awareness about violence against children. This is an update on how the effort went.

  • more than 60,000 men participated, worldwide
  • almost $1,000,000 was raised

All funds raised through Polished Man are channeled into trauma recovery and trauma prevention programs for children who have suffered or are at risk of suffering violence globally. These include YGAP impact entrepreneurs running ventures that reduce violence against children or provide emergency relief to those that have fallen victims to physical and/or sexual violence. Funds are also channeled into some incredible work being carried out by the Australian Childhood Foundation, Hagar International, the New York Centre for Children and World Vision.

To those that participated directly, or indirectly – or offered your support to me, personally – thank you.


I’m a Polished Man

barry zweibel is a polished manHere’s a fun little share with a very serious message beneath it

I’m a Polished Man.

That means, for the month of October, I’m paintingd one of my fingernails to raise raising awareness for the one in five children affected by physical and/or sexual violence before the age of 18.

The idea is that people will notice, ask about it, and enable a conversation about better protecting society’s most vulnerable to the abuses of adults – kids.

Did you know that 90% of all sexual violence against children is perpetrated by men?

Did you know that 150 million girls and 73 million boys under 18 have experienced sexual violence?

I didn’t.

Now while The Polished Man is designed to be a fundraising event, I’m not asking you for a donation. I just want you – as adult men and women – to know these shocking statistics. Then, whatever you feel you need to do (or not do) next is fine by me.

  • But fellas, should you want to paint a fingernail of your own in support of the cause, excellent! (Send me a photo!)
  • And, ladies, should you want to encourage a guy you know to support the cause, that’d be great, too! (And also send me a photo!)
  • Hey, if you just want to mock my masculinity, have at it! (Just be creative about it!)
  • And should you want to support my campaign, here’s the link to my donations page: https://polishedman.com/barryzweibel.

If you can help me spread the word, though – in person, by phone, on Facebook, LinkedIn, via Tweets, Instagram (hashtag #polishedman)…or with a small donation – please KNOW I’ll appreciate it, greatly.

Andthank you for treating your kids with the respect they deserve.

polishedman