Ever notice how easy it is to see in others what we don’t (or can’t) see in ourselves?
Actually, it’s nearly impossible…at first. But with a little practice and attention you’ll be a pro at it in no time.
- You know that coworker who ‘always’ shirks her responsibilities? Chances are good that if you give it some thought, you’ll realize that you’re shirking some of your responsibilities, too – maybe not a work (although quite possibly so) but surely at home.
- You know that direct report who’s not reaching out to colleagues to mend fences? Chances are good that if you give it some thought, you’ll realize that there is some fence-mending you might want to do.
- You know that guy that raised your blood-pressure by tail-gating you on the highway this morning? Chances are good that if you give it some thought, you’ll realize that you’re probably micro-managing someone, somehow, in a more-annoying way than you realize.
You may think the point point of all this is to say that “we already are what we judge others to be” – but it’s not. (Well, it can be that, but if it is, there’s more than one point I’m trying to make.) The bigger thing is this – noticing what annoys you in the world is a superb mirror for, ahem, self-reflection. So notice what you notice. And decide what you decide. But noticing what you notice will help you see all that juicy insight and perspective just waiting there for you to infer.
And if you decide to go do something to better align yourself with the person in the mirror, that’s all the better!